Urban Bliss

As a child growing up in the sticks, I was always fascinated going downtown and realizing that folks actually lived in the man made canyons of skyscrapers. I couldn't imagine living among the noise, the bustle, and the anonymity of Chicago. However, since Sean's been living downtown while going to UIC, I'm realizing that people don't live in Chicago, they live in Greektown, Little Italy, Chinatown, and the dozens of other neighborhoods that fill Chicago.

Sean's world is bordered by Greektown, Little Italy, and Printer's Row and each of these is its own distinctive place full of its own culture and vibe. Since living at UIC, Sean's managed to find the Target that's a few blocks from school, the World Market (where they have the best cookies in the world), Whole Foods, and all the other essentials of college life. As he's found his way around the town, he's discovered the little out of the way places that only someone who's a native could find. He can tell me the local restaurants that have the best food, where to buy good quality shoes for cheap, and which bus lines go where. Having grown up in Suburbia where everyone drives everywhere, Sean was amazed when he moved downtown and realized that few people had cars because public transportation or pedi-transportation will take you everywhere you need to go and because having a car can be really inconvenient when it comes to finding a parking space.

When I visit him and we go shopping, I'm struck by the sense of community that exists in what I once thought was a scary urban jungle. The clerks at Whole Foods know their regulars' names, the people walking down the street call each other by name, and the restaurants offer specials that cater to their crowds. In a lot of ways, I think Sean's urban community is a lot more of a community than the suburbs we live in now because people walk most places so they get to know the folks at their local businesses and they get to know the people they see on public transportation each day. It's difficult to get to know your neighbors in suburbia, because no one lives where they work and we spend so much time commuting that when we get home, we hole up in our homes, turn on the TV, and turn out the rest of the world.

I'm not naive enough to think that all of the neighborhoods in the city are warm and fuzzy communities full of folks who want to get to know their neighbors. There are a few neighborhoods in the city where outsiders risk their lives visiting, but most of Chicago's neighborhoods are diverse and exciting communities that offer their residents all the comforts of suburban living and more.

Through Sean's eyes, I'm seeing that what I once thought of was a cold and impersonal city, is full of warm and welcoming neighborhoods. It's pretty blissful to let go of my preconceptions about city living and to take a step back and realize what a mature and self sufficient kid we raised.

Bliss List

The amount of wonderful writing on the Web is amazing as I'm realizing that Blogging has truly changed the face of communication. All of these writers whose work wouldn't find a home at a big publishing house now have an outlet where they can reach out and touch readers without a middleman. One of the amazing posts I read just this morning was Jonathon Field's post on Lies, Damn Lies, and Follower Counts what really matters. This amazing post made me realize what's important in life and inspired me to create my own list of what matters in my life.

• I care about laughing and giggling and having a good time with people I care about.
• I care about pulling into my driveway and seeing my dog standing there wagging his tail.
• I care about the smile on my husband's face when he thinks our kids aren't watching him.I care about paying homage to my parents by being the best person I can be.
• I care about doing my best and earning my pay.
• I care about being innovative and leaving the world better than I found it.
• I care about the tangy zing of vinegar and the rich heaviness of olive oil drizzled on cucumbers, tomatoes, and feta cheese; the scent and taste transporting me back to my childhood.
• I care about my daughter's smile when she comes out of school and sees me waiting for her.
• I care about my son's hug as he climbs on the train and heads back to school
• I care about my mother's happiness when she calls to tell me that she's having a good day and that she read my blog and really enjoyed it.
• I care about bringing in an armful of wood on a cold winter day, lighting a fire in my fireplace, and snuggling with my husband in front of the fire.
• I care about the crisp crunch of autumn leaves under my feet as I go for a walk.
• I care about the warm sun on my face as I sit on the beach and listen to the waves lap against the sand.
• I care about the world I'll leave my children and taking care to make sure I leave it a little better than I found it.

Those are the things that matter in life, the things I cherish, and the things that will make a difference.

Suburban Bliss

I took a stroll down Memory Lane today and I mean literally and not figuratively. Cat has a 30 minute saxophone lesson every Wednesday night and 30 minutes isn't enough time to go home, but is too long to sit in the car and be bored. Most nights I go to the mall or the bookstore and look around and usually end up spending money I don't have on stuff I don't need. Today I decided to do something different and use the time to walk.

Walking in a neighborhood that isn't your own is an interesting experience and can lead to some dead ends. The first block I turned down landed me in an apartment complex's parking lot and I had to decide whether to walk through the complex or turn around. It was a nice day and a safe looking complex, so I decided to keep walking to get to the road on the other side. The complex was well kept and folks had made the most of their small yards. I saw potted plants sitting out, a collection of kids's toys, and other items that made me realize that people had chosen to make these apartments real homes.

Coming out of the apartment complex, I was in what had probably once been one of the booming subdivisions built after World War II with cute little cookie cutter homes, tree lined streets, and interesting names for the streets. Some of the streets have Native American names like We-Go and Wappello, others are named for early settlers like Emerson and Rand, and then there are the names that are just plain cute like Memory Lane.

Memory Lane is a typical Northwest Suburban Chicago street lined with bungalows and ranch houses. The cars in the driveways are a mix of imports and domestics and the signs of suburban bliss are everywhere with Halloween decorations starting to appear in lawns, dogs barking in backyards, and kitschy statues out in the front yards.

Suburban bliss is an interesting thing because the original reason for suburbs was to give people room to spread out and get away from the claustrophobic highrises and narrow streets of downtown. However, ex-urbanites aren't comfortable driving more than a few miles for the necessities of every day life like Borders and Starbucks so today the suburbs look like lowrise versions of downtown with stores, shops, and housing filling what was once cornfields. Interestingly enough, some suburbanites have taken to growing corn in their minuscule gardens. That got me thinking about how no matter how civilized we are, at heart we are all still hunter gatherers.

All too soon my timer went off and it was time to head back to the music store and reclaim my daughter and my own life and leave behind the bliss of wandering down someone else's Memory Lane.

Blissful Thinking

I've got the blues lately and not the kind you sing about. I work for an incredibly dysfunctional company and my department is among the worst of the worst in terms of insanity. However, this post is supposed to be about bliss and not the blues, so one of the things that I like to do when I'm having a bad day is create a list of things that are good in my life and things that mean something as a reminder that life isn't as dark as it sometimes seems. In no particular order:

• I'm grateful I grew up in a warm and loving family and that my parents sacrificed to send me to college.
  
• I'm grateful that I met and married a terrific guy who for all our ups and downs, I still love and who gave up something important to him because the trolls were attacking me.
  
• I'm grateful that I had a dad who passed his love for animals down to me because animals have brought so much joy into my life.

I'm grateful that I have a beautiful daughter who is smart and intelligent and able to speak her own mind.

• I'm grateful that I have a strong and handsome son who is smart and going to be an awesome lawyer.



• I'm grateful I have a beautiful home in a nice, safe, neighborhood.



• I'm grateful I'm creative and able to apply my creativity in a number of different ways.



• I'm grateful that I have a beautiful and sweet dog who loves me and brings me so much joy.



• I'm grateful that I have a fireplace so we can have fires to keep us toasty warm on cold winter days.


• I'm grateful for all the experiences I've been able to have like traveling to China and Europe.


• I'm grateful that I'm earning a paycheck and that my job is five minutes from my house.


• I'm grateful for the all the utilities that keep my house warm, give me water to take a shower and wash my clothes, and give me light to read by.

• I'm grateful that I'm literate and can read and educate myself by learning from people who have been there before me.
  
• I'm grateful for the Internet that lets me reach out and connect with people I love and lets me learn and stay up to date.


• I'm grateful for bad bosses and rotten coworkers because by seeing their bad behavior, it helps me to learn what not to do.


• I'm grateful for the people at work who do believe in me and believe that I'm better than all the BS swirling around me. (that is a totally yucky metaphor, but you get the picture)


• I'm grateful that things always do change and that eventually things will get better.


• I'm grateful for my friends who remind me not to dwell on the nastiness.


• I'm grateful my mom is still healthy and enjoying her life.


• I'm grateful I'm able to afford to put my kids through college.


• I'm grateful I have skills that are marketable.


• I''m grateful I live in a free country.

I'm sure there are a lot of things that I forgot, but just writing down the things I'm grateful for will help me have a better day.

Singing Bliss

"There's only one word for this, it's bliss," so goes the song by Alice Peacock and her's is not the only song that can elicit that amazing feeling of bliss that comes from being surrounded by good music. I've been known to bebop down the aisles of my local grocery store when a song I loves come on. I used to restrain my joy at good music, but I've learned to embrace the music and let it flow through me.

Growing up, we listened to Elvis as my mom had been a fan of Elvis' since when she was a girl and she passed that love on to me. I remember rushing home from school to watch Elvis on the after school movie. Although all of those movies were silly and always followed the same format, I loved watching them with my mom. My mom always told me that she loved Elvis because he reminded her of my dad and looking at the photos of my dad as a young man, I can see the resemblance. My husband always teased me about my love of Elvis until I told him that I loved Elvis because listening to his songs reminded me of the times I'd spent listening to Elvis and watching those silly movies with my mom.

A few years ago, I discovered Johnny Cash and burned a bunch of Elvis and Johnny Cash on my little Nokia phone. I loaned the phone to my mom and she told me that when my dad was dying in the hospital, she played that old time rock and roll for him. That gave those songs special meaning for me and I always feel blessed that those songs were on that phone and could give my dad a little bit of comfort in his last days.

Songs tell stories and elicit emotions like words alone can't do. Growing up, I remember listening to the song Teddy Bear by Ray Sovine, my eyes always welled up in tears as the kindness the truckers showed Teddy Bear. It reminded me that there is good in this world and that people do care about one another. God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood is another song that always has tears streaming down my face as I listen and remember that there are good people in this world and that we are truly blessed to live in this country.

I'm not a fan of the rap my kids listen to, but some of today's music is magickal and tells real stories. Natasha Bedingfield's song Unwritten is another song that sends chills up my spine and reminds me that my life isn't over and I still have choices in this world. I have to confess that Gretchen Wilson's Red Neck Woman could be my anthem. I love that song as it empowers me to embrace my earthy and trashy side that loves playing in the mud and saying "He** yes."

The amazing power of music is evident in the video below that was shot in a Belgium train station. Although this was set up as a publicity stunt and a lot of the dancers were professionals, it is amazing to me to watch the people in the audience get into it and start singing along. Quite a few people drop what they're doing and jump in for the sheer joy experiencing the music. It is blissful to watch them drop their cares and worries about "what people will think" and sing and dance for the sheer joy of singing and dancing.



That's when singing becomes true bliss when you're not worried about how awful your voice is, how weird people will think you are for singing and dancing along, and you're just immersed in the music and feeling the sheer bliss of song.