Tech Bliss

Technology gets a bad rap as you hear everyone talking about how we're disconnected from our fellow human beings because we're so wrapped up in technology. How we're texting during conversations, how we're talking on cell phones all the time, how we've become isolated by technology. However, what everyone fails to mention is that at the other end of those texts and phone calls is a real live human being that we're connecting with. Personally, I feel more connected than ever because technology lets me share my experiences as I've having them, versus after the fact.

Caitlin is one of the biggest Beatles fans in the world and I was fortunate enough to be able to visit Abbey Road two years ago and due to technology, I was able to call her from Abbey Road and share the experience with her as it was happening. If I would have had a camera phone, I could have snapped a picture and sent it to her instantaneously. That is the power that technology has to connect people.

I connected with one of my oldest friends from outside of Koldinghus castle in Germany. It was incredibly cool to call her from the castle and tell her all about Denmark and share my experience with her. Because I usually end up traveling alone, it is wonderful to be able to share my experiences with people as I'm having them.

Technology also keeps me connected to my kids as they travel. Caitlin is in Washington D.C. this week and we've been getting text messages from her all week updating us on her trip. We've also texted her and when we ran into one of her friends at a restaurant we texted her and said, "Vlad says hi." At first she didn't believe that we'd actually run into him, but once I snapped a photo with my camera phone and sent it to her phone, she said to tell him hello.

Sometimes when you're out and about you see something that makes you chuckle and you want to share it with someone. I was out the other night and came across a copy of the book, "Things Drunk People Say." It made me think of an associate of mine who has a penchant for calling people drunk and saying stupid things. I was able to snap a cover of the book cover and send it to another friend with a note, "Does this remind you of anyone?" Maybe it was mean, maybe it was catty, but it was real and genuine and it let me and a friend share a virtual chuckle.

I agree that some of us are addicted to our Crackberries and spend way too much time checking our work email, but there is true bliss to be had in technology to connect with our loved ones and share what's going on in our world with them.

Balancing the Scale

Over 26 years ago, Brian Dugan brutally raped and murdered a young girl. I wrote the below in memory of Dugan's victims and today, the date he got sentenced to death. Although there is no bliss in this decision, it does prove that the scales of justice will eventually balanced out.

Jeanine and Missy’s Legacy

“There’s a man at the door wearing a tracksuit. I don’t know what he wants. I didn’t answer,” that was the text I got from my daughter last Tuesday when she was home alone from school. My heart leaped into my throat and images of my daughter being raped, beaten, and bludgeoned before I could race the five minutes home to save her tormented me.

“Lock all the doors, “ I texted her back and sat fidgeting in my chair as I waited for the message light to come on my phone signifying that she was still there, whole and in one piece. One minute passed, two, when it hit three, I prepared to make a quick exit to rush home and I debated whether the text I had warranted a call to 911.

Finally, the red light came on and the text that seemed as if it was centuries in the writing flashed across my screen, “He’s gone. I locked all the doors.” I settled back into my chair and no one in the room realized the life and death drama that had played out in my mind as I waited those endless seconds for my daughter to text me the all clear.

At seventeen, my daughter is seven years older than Jeanine Nicarico was on the day she was attacked and ultimately murdered by Brian Dugan in her own home. Like my daughter, Jeanine had been home sick from school at her seemingly safe home in the Chicago Suburbs.

Despite my daughter’s almost adult status, I still think about Jeanine every time I agree that she can stay home from school. I think about all the things that can go wrong in my seemingly safe suburb. The day Robert Maday escaped, my daughter was safe at school, but she was going home to an empty house with several doors unlocked. Fortunately, one of her friends took her home and made sure she was safe before heading to his own house.

I was a junior at Kaneland high school when Jeanine Nicarico was murdered and at the time I was, like all teenagers, invincible and bad things like what happened to Jeanine would never dare to invade my pristine world. Two years later when Missy Ackerman disappeared in Somonauk, the tragedy still seemed far removed from my safe little world even though I happened to be in Somonauk while they were searching for Missy and saw the buttons with her name on them.

It was only when I had kids of my own that the horror of what happened to Jeanine and Missy hit home. I realized that life was indeed very fragile and I now had two innocent and defenseless children that were mine to protect from the great big scary world. My husband and I kept our kids close as they were growing up and we made sure that up until they were in Junior high they were never home alone for more than a few minutes. We made sure we knew where they were and who they were with at all times. Memories of Missy haunted me whenever I thought about letting our daughter take her bike and head out for a few hours.

Our son was six foot something and 175 by the time he hit high school so I wasn’t very worried about leaving him home alone as I figured he could fend off any would be attacker. Our daughter’s another story as she’s just over five feet tall and just over 100 lbs and it would be pretty easy for a determined attacker to overpower her. Unfortunately for her, her size has meant that her father and I are much more protective of her than we were her brother and every time I leave her home alone, the specter of what happened to Jeanine and Missy haunts me and I agonize over whether or not to truly let her stay home alone. Most times I don’t want to endure the “Oh Mom” eye roll that would ensue if I shared my concerns, but every now and then I share my concerns and reinforce the rules of staying home alone: lock the doors, don’t answer the door, don’t have anyone over, etc. etc.

If life were fair, Jeanine would be thirty six now and Missy would be thirty-two. Maybe they’d be mom’s themselves, worried about the safety of their kids running out to play, but instead because of a single madman, they’re both frozen in time as smiling little girls who’ve left a generation of parents hugging their children just a little bit closer at night because they know the boogieman’s real.

Honor and Sacrifice

Honor and sacrifice are words that should strike at the very core of our being for without the honor and sacrifice of those who've chosen to serve in the military, we would live in a very different world. Honor and sacrifice in the USA started over 200 years ago when a group of brave men chose to stand up to tyranny, chose to stand up for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Throughout the ages, countless men and women have chosen to step forward and offer themselves to their country. They've chosen to go knowing that they might not come back. Men chose to go to Europe to fight World Wars I and II because they believed in the cause of liberty and justice. Men and women chose to enlist after 9/11 because they believe in the cause of freedom and they believe that the life we live in the US is worth living. Even today, men and women are tying on their combat boots and preparing to go to hot spots around the world to defend liberty.

Honor and Sacrifice aren't happy and joyful, but they bring a deep and enduring kind of bliss that means knowing you've done the right thing.

I first heard Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA over 20 years ago when I was serving my country as a civilian at Kadena AB, Japan and I still cry every time I hear this beautiful song.

Twenty Blisses

I’ve got the Blues again and rather than make you all sit and listen (okay, I know you really don’t listen, but indulge me) to me whine, I figure I’ll do a quick list of 20 Blisses to see if that makes me feel better. A Bliss list is kinda like a gratitude list, but it’s really all about the things that make me feel good and calling it a bliss list lets it be all about self indulgence instead of the things that “I should” be grateful for. So here’s my list of 20 blisses for the day:

1. My “Together We Can” plaque that was presented to me by the first KUDOS class in the history of the world. Looking at it makes me remember all the fun we had getting together and learning and playing together. It also reminds me of the incredible things I can accomplish when I put my mind to it.


2. My drawing from Amsterdam that I picked up at the flea market. It reminds me of the beautiful day I spent in Amsterdam cruising the canals, indulging in good food, and seeing Europe.
   
3. My wonderful daughter who is so grown up and smart. She’s on her way to DC today for a Journalism Education Association Conference. I’m so proud of how independent and smart she is.



4. My smart and witty son who is living independently and working very hard to make his way through college.



5. My loving husband who loves us and is always there for all of us. And who goes out with my friends even when he doesn’t really want to.
   
6. Chester and Amedeus, Caitlin’s piggies are adorable and I love the little “wheep wheep” sound that they make. We moved them to the living room while Cat is in Washington, DC and it’s kind of fun to have them down here.



7. People who believe in me and go to bat for me even when other people are trying to cut me down and keep me from achieving my dreams.
   


8. Being able to afford to put our kids through college and send them on excursions like Cat’s trip to DC.
   
9. Living in a free country where we can speak our minds, choose the lives and loves we want, pursue happiness.


10. A beautiful house that keeps us warm in winter and cool in the summer.



11. Getting to see my buddy Alison today. It always makes me incredibly happy to see her and hang out with her.



12. the Internet. I know it sounds incredibly shallow, but hanging out on the Internet makes me happy.
    


13. The ability to create Websites, write books, and generally be crafty.


14. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate…’nuff said.


15. Old friends and new who are there to listen and be there for me.
    


16. Awesome TV shows like Glee that make me laugh and cry at the same time.
    


17. Fires in my fireplace that make me feel warm and cozy inside and out.
    


18. Luke, my Aussie/Collie mix who is always happy to see me.
    


19. The fact that I got the chance to see London and visit the Tower of London and the rest of London’s treasures.
    


20. A job. That sounds really lame, but in today’s world I’m happy I have a job to go into that pays the bills.

Despite the crappy start to my day, the fact that I got the opportunity to reset my day to a more blissful ending by taking some time to think about the things that bring me bliss.

Counting Bliss

My forty-third birthday was bittersweet. I received cards, messages, and emails from friends and family across the country, but my daddy wasn't here to wish me a happy birthday. However, I have the feeling that he was looking down and smiling because the biggest present I got was a brand new job working for a boss who I respect and admire because he's a real leader and has a vision. The ironic part is that I'll be working in the accounting and finance group, something that I have avoided my entire career despite my accounting degree. I wanted a degree in English or Journalism, but my dad convinced me to get an accounting degree because then no matter what happened I'd always be able to support myself. The only problem with that theory is that I hated accounting.

The great part about my new job is that even though I'll be working in accounting and finance and need to understand the processes, I won't be hands on in SAP doing accounting transactions. I'll be doing training and working on process improvements. There's a lot of really cool things going on in my company and I'll be at the heart of helping to design and implement those new processes. Although my new boss denies it, from reading the job description, it is as if it had been written for me as it plays to all of my strengths.

I'm also seeing a shift in myself away from the anger of the past few months about my situation. In a meeting at work yesterday, I realized that things that three weeks ago would have really upset me, didn't matter anymore. I'm moving on to a better place to work with creative people and for a boss who understands how to manage people.

My challenge over the next few days and weeks will be remembering the lessons of the past few months and remembering to keep balance in my life. I know myself well enough to know that when I am passionate about something I throw myself into it will all my heart and soul and allow myself to be consumed. I have to figure out how to keep the passion, but draw boundaries.

As I reflect on my good fortune, I realize that I drew this to me by my own actions. I've always tried to treat people fairly and to help those around me and through a quirky twist of fate, just when I needed it, one of my friends had a positon open up that's perfect for me. I also realize that I've demonstrated all the traits that are requried to do this job, so my new boss knows I not only know how to talk the talk, I can also walk the walk. Here's giving thanks for the blissful things that have fallen into my life and hoping to continue to draw the things that are perfect toward me.