Traditional Bliss

Traditions give us a foundation for the future, but they shouldn't be so rigid that they keep us mired in the past. Our families traditions have evolved over the past twenty-one Christmases that John and I have been together. From a family of two, to a family of three, to a family of four, our traditions have expanded or contracted as the years and money permitted, but they've always revolved around our core values of love of family, love of food, and hope for the future. Although our traditions are not all unique, they do bring us much joy, laughter, and bliss.

Our Yule Ritual--We welcome the sun back every year and it is a sacred tradition that we follow even today with the kids almost grown.

Santa's Letter--Every Christmas Santa writes the kids a special letter detailing how they've been good over the past year, where they could hope to improve, and explaining why he's chosen to buy the present he has. It's been interesting over the course of the years because in the years when we were so broke we weren't sure we'd be able to afford much for Christmas, Santa always came through with the gift the kids hadn't dared to hope for. This year, two letters from Santa showed up and we all believe that Santa made a special stop just to remind us how lucky we are to still have John with us.

The bears of Christmas--We spent the Christmas of 1992 on the tropical island of Okinawa. It was the first year Caitlin was born and John and I knew that our family was complete. While shopping at the base exchange, I found these incredibly gaudy tinsel covered bears. The gold bears are for the "boys" and the silver bears are for the "girls." John's immediate reaction was that they were gawd awful ugly and he groaned the first few years when I brought them out for Christmas. He still thinks they're gaudy, but they've become such and ingrained part of the holidays that he's evolved into just shaking his head when I bring them out.

Milk and Cookies--One year when the kids were early, I found this beautiful plate and cup said that said "Santa's Magical Cookies" and every holiday since it has been filled with cookies and milk for Santa. This year the cookies were butter cookies from Arlington Cake Box and they were so yummy that Santa had four of them.

Stockings filled with care--Although the big gifts are always nice to get, the stockings that "Santa Mom" fills so carefully are always fun to open. Caitlin always seems to get lip balm in hers (she had 13 tubes this year) and Sean's was filled with useful things like a hammer and small tool kit for when he moves into his own apartment. John's had puzzles and sugar free cookies and mine was filled with body lotions.

Batman and Beatles--Sean's been a Batman fan since before he could speak and every year either Santa or mom and dad make sure that he has a Batman present under the tree. This year Sean's was a Joker set that he could take back to his dorm room and play with his friends. Cat discovered the Beatles in eighth grade and every year since we've had to make sure that the Fab Four paid her a visit every year.

Ornaments--We have a number of traditions around ornaments. The kids always get a new ornament reflecting where they are in their lives: school buses for the first year of school, a French Cat for the year Caitlin started French lessons, etc. We also always pick up ornaments from everywhere we go so our tree is adorned with trinkets from London, Atlanta, Alaska, and other places far and near. One of these years, I'm hoping we'll get organized enough to have multiple trees and then we can do themed trees: a travel tree, a kid tree, and a glittery tree.

Presents--Presents are always a part of Christmas mornings and when the kids were younger, we'd roll out of bed at 5 am or so when Sean came in to wake us up. The good thing since the kids are older is that now Christmas morning doesn't start so early as they usually don't roll out of bed until 8:30 or later. Although most mornings I welcome the opportunity to sleep in, sometimes I miss the childish bliss of running into the living room to see what Santa's brought.


Our Christmas this year was a live with family, presents, food, and an overwhelming sense of blissfulness that we are all here to celebrate together.

Lighting up bliss

Since ancient times man has celebrated the winter solstice with pageants of light and hope. Yule is the shortest night of the year, but it is also the night that the days start growing incrementally longer. In the days before TV, the Internet, and even widespread literacy, folks paid close attention to the natural world and they realized that sometime in late December the days stopped getting shorter.

Those ancient festivals were times for people to come together and to light burning wheels and candles and to pray for the Sun God to return from his winter home and start bringing more light back to the world. As I sit here in my quiet house looking out at the Christmas lights twinkling on my block, I'm struck by the face that deep down maybe we haven't evolved as much as we think we have for every winter, humans feel the need to light the night with twinkling lights subconsciously evoking forgotten memories that are stored in our human DNA.

There is something magickal about single points of lights flicking hopefully in the darkened sky. A feeling of hope, a sense that the wheel of the year will turn again and we will travel back into the lighter half of the year. Living in Northern Illinois, every light that twinkles is reflected back 1000 times by the snow which seems lit by the light of a thousand diamonds.

Zoo Lights is the annual festival of lights held at Lincoln Park Zoo and we've gone the last few years and have reveled in the sacredness that seems to envelope the zoo at night. The paths are lit by light sculptures in fantastic shapes and the sounds of carols fill the air. Somehow, I always feel close to my dad when I'm enjoying zoo lights as he loved Christmas and he loved our trips to the zoo.

We celebrate Yule every year to welcome back the sun and to give thanks for the gifts that the sun has given us. The ritual is a simple one meant for children and in fact we started it years ago when the children were small, but we continue it even today reading through the words that have become ingrained in our memory. As part of the ritual, we each eat a piece of fruit as a tangible symbol of the sun's power and somehow that simple piece of fruit seems special. At the end of the ritual, we play The Beatles "Here Comes the Sun" and dance while holding our candles aloft. Even though I know that there are still long cold days ahead, somehow they seem a little more blissful when I'm holding a candle aloft and dancing to welcome back the sun.

Christkindlesmarkt Market

It was my last day of work for the year and after work, the kids and I headed downtown to visit Chicago's Christkindlesmarkt. Like the famous Christmas Markets in Germany, Chicago's Christmas Market is an outdoor market filled with trinkets and treasures from around the world and with great German food.

The market's open from late November through Christmas Eve and due to work schedules, today was the last day of the year we could go so despite the sleet and blowing snow, we headed over to the CTA to venture downtown. Our train arrived right under Daley Plaza where the Christkindlesmarkt was being held so we headed up the stairs and into an outdoor market that would have been at home in Nuremburg. Nuremburg is home to one of the oldest Christmas Markets in Germany, having held a market almost every year since 1628.

Although much younger than Nuremburg's, Chicago's market is no less festive. Walking out from the train station, we were caressed by the scents of cinnamon nuts, mulled cider, bratwurst, and other treats. Despite the blowing sleet, hundreds of people were perusing the goods offered by the vendors who, like their counterparts in Germany, were housed in small tents covered with red and white striped awnings. Many of the merchants had come over from abroad to offer their wares and share stories of their home countries. We saw beautiful woven sweaters from the Himalayas, carved statues from Africa, and blown glass and carved statues from Germany.

It was hard not to whip out the credit card and take home a treasure trove of goodies, but my new mantra has become "is it necessary?" so I resisted the urge to take home goodies from every shop and limited my purchases to a few. I bought some heart shaped ornaments to commemorate John surviving a heart attack and gifts for my daughter and mom (I can't tell you what they are because they read my blog). It was really hard to resist bringing home the carved dragons, but I couldn't figure out where we'd put them once we got them home so I resisted.

The wonderful smells from the food tents were making all three of us hungry so we headed to the food stalls. Caitlin was first up to order and her order for sauerkraut in a bun had the man behind the counter scratching his head and asking his counterpart if they really could sell sauerkraut in a bun. He was assured they could, so he scooped the pickled cabbage into a bun and handed it to Caitlin. Sean ordered a traditional pork sandwich that he swore was spam on a bun. The hot drinks, cider for Cat and hot chocolate for Sean, warmed them up and filled them with holiday cheer. Baked apples served as desert and eaten warm and coated in cinnamon and sugar they offered another warm treat on a cold winter night.

While the kids ate their food, I heard Christmas carols being played on a Sax and headed over to listen to inspiring sounds of a street musician playing on the corner. I dropped a few bucks in his cardboard box, wished him a happy holiday, and the kids and I headed to the stairs to catch the CTA back home. Looking back towards the Christmas Market, I was struck by how Chicago's famous Picasso structure looked like a benevolent watch dog watching over the market goers.

Frozen noses and toes aside, our trip to the market was a magickal adventure at the most giving time of the year and we headed home with our hearts filled with the bliss of the season.

Driving Miss Bliss

Teaching my son to drive was a hair raising (and graying) experience. It seemed as if I was constantly screeching at him to slow down, not drive so close to the parked cars, not stop so fast, not, not, not. Looking back, I realize that was exactly the wrong way to inspire confidence and teach him to be a good driver. However, at the time I was incredibly freaked out about the thought of my 16 year old son behind the wheel of a 3,500 lb chunk of steel. I kept envisioning us getting sandwiched under a semi like some scene from a high speed chase.

Four years later that perspective seems pretty silly as I'm realizing that even though I wasn't behind the wheel and my foot couldn't reach the gas pedal (unless you count the imaginary one I kept stomping on), I was still in control. I controlled when he went driving because I had to be in the car with him and I controlled the route that we were driving on.

Those lessons have stood me in good stead with my daughter as her driving experience is not quite so nerve racking as my sons. I've timed her driving so that it's early in the evening when most folks are at dinner and we've limited her driving to sleep suburban side streets. I still get a little freaked out by how close the cars parked along the side of the road seem from the passenger's seat, but I'm realizing that even if we hit the car she's going slow enough that there would be minimal damage and that's what insurance is for.

Cat is a very cautious driver who takes her responsibilities seriously and she is realistic in her estimate of her skills. We went driving last night and she did a very nice job at stopping at the stop signs, signalling, and overall being a conscientious driver. We even went to a nearby parking lot to practice fishtailing, but the gods of winter driving were not very cooperative and every time she slammed on the brakes to try and fishtail, we glided gently to a stop.

Despite the gray hairs and the claw marks in the dashboard, I'm happy to teach Cat to drive because the feeling of watching her develop a new confidence in her abilities is a blissful experience in and of itself.

Karmic Bliss

Many in the world believe in Karma, which is loosely defined as believing that your behavior governs what happens to you: you do good and good things come to you and you do bad and bad things come your way. Pagans version of karma is that what you do comes back to you threefold.

I've seen karma work too many times to not believe in it, but there are days like today when it is really hard to wait for karma to take care of the idiots and incompetents in the world (okay that's a really unblisslike statement, but it's been a rough day). I work with a group of insultants (i.e. consultants) who think they are smarter than everyone else in the company and who treat employees as if they are brainless minions.

Fortunately, for me there are forces in the company working against the insultants and we're playing the political game until we can show them the door. I have a tendency to not play well with idiots and I'm having to spend a lot of time biting my tongue and pasting a smile on my face to deal with them. It's difficult for me to deal with because I'm very pragmatic and like to plow through the BS and get the job done versus talking about the work instead of doing it. I keep telling myself over and over that Karma works because EBC went bankrupt.

EBC was the last moronic insultant firm we worked with and after 15 months of misery (mostly mine) we cut our ties with them and shortly there after they went belly up. They exhibited the same moronic tendencies that the most current thorn in my side is: arrogance, not listening, thinking they know more than people who've been there forever, etc.

So tomorrow when I go into work, I'll be taking very deep breaths and consoling myself that someday very soon I'll be enjoying the same karmic bliss I experienced when EBC went belly up. It's just a waiting game.

PS: I know this is a more snarky and sarcastic blog entry than I usually write, but they're really driving me nuts.