Bliss of the Heart

Yesterday would have been my parents 46th anniversary and for my mom it was a day filled with bittersweet memories. I talked to her this morning and she said she spent the day remembering life with my dad and trying not to be sad because she knows that my dad would have not wanted her to spend the rest of her life being sad.

In 1962 when my parents met, Kennedy was still alive, Elvis was the king, and life was a whole lot simpler. Their relationship was launched in the early days of the space race when landing a man on the moon seemed like more fantasy than fact. Neither James T. Kirk nor Neil Armstrong had boldly gone where no man had gone before. The Beatles first hit, "Please, Please, Please Me," was released in the early days of their courtship.

The early days of my parents relationship weren't all sunshine and roses though as the turbulence filled the world. The civil rights movement turned violent with bombings in Birmingham and on November 22, 1963 the days of Camelot come to an end when John F. Kennedy is killed in Dallas.

My parents were denied the beautiful wedding and gifts they'd hoped for due to a variety of reasons and they were married on February 20, 1965 with a few friends in attendance and pizza for a reception. A few years later, on November 6, 1966, a squalling baby girl was born and in 1970 a son was born. Along the way, my parents saw NASA fulfill Kennedy's promise of putting a man on the moon by the end of the 1960's.

The 70's brought Watergate, Vietnam, and a move to the country and oh those funky clothes. Two growing kids meant my dad was working long hours to pay for vacations, school, and all the other things his young family needed. At the time, I thought my dad had the hard end of the bargain having to work all those hours, but I'm realizing that it couldn't have been easy for my mom to have to fulfill all the household duties involved in making sure we were clothed, fed, and everything else. My dad had two heart attacks during the 1970s that had him spending days at a hospital downtown and my mom praying she wouldn't be left a young widow.

Kids graduating, college bills, and the first grandchild defined the 1980s for my parents. My parents 25th anniversary was in 1990 and right before we headed for Okinawa, Japan. We invited all their friends and relatives and arranged for them to have the beautiful wedding cake they'd been denied at their wedding. My dad caught wind of our plans and threatened not to attend, but in the end he was the life of the party as he was thrilled by all the guests who had turned out to honor him and my mom.

Grandchildren, a move to Mt. Carroll, and retirement meant my parents had more to live for than ever in the 1990s. My dad had loved being a father, but being a grandfather was extra special because he had money and time to spend with Sean and Caitlin he doted on them. He and my mom always made sure the kids were spoiled rotten and he often chuckled that he the best part was spoiling them rotten and then bringing them home for us to deal with.

Unlike some couples who grow farther apart as they grow older, my parents' love seemed to grow as they got older and truly had more time to spend together. Simple things shared became great memories as they invested time in friends, family, and each other. Although my father may longer be with us, looking at the pictures of my parents together still feels me with the bliss of knowing that love surpasses everything and can live on in our hearts forever.

Bliss of Completion

Cat had work this afternoon and the boys headed downtown to visit the Auto Show so I ended up with five blissful hours all to myself. It was tempting to spend the afternoon engrossed in a trashy novel or catching up on stuff for work, but what I really wanted to do was just putter around the house and do some things that I'd been putting off.

After I dropped Cat off at work, I headed to the store to pick up something for lunch, then dropped off a package at UPS for Sean. I also allowed myself to indulge in three pieces of Fannie Mae as I firmly believe that indulgences are okay as long as they are of the highest quality and really worth the calories you spend on them.

Then it was home to my best pal Luke who was patiently waiting for me to come home and give him some loving. We cuddled for a bit and then I turned on the tunes and got down to some serious puttering. I loaded up the dishwasher and washing machine, then I got to work on the kitchen counters that were in serious need of some cleaning. I picked up the assorted debris that had accumulated, piled the dishes in the sink, and sprayed some cleaner to loosen up the gunk.

While the cleaner was working it's magic, I grabbed the stack of mail that was threatening to tumble off the counter and got to work sorting through it. It is amazing the amount of out and out junk mail that we get since we moved to a "better" zip code. If we bought something from every flyer delivered to the house, we'd end up broke. Out of a three inch stack of mail, I ended up with about five things that were worth keeping. The rest went in the recycling bin along with the empty soda bottles and cans that had gotten left around the living room.

Next up was to gather all of the reusable grocery bags sitting around the house. The two I carry with me in case I'm shopping and end up needing bags, went in my purse and the rest got carried out to the car so they'd be there when I needed them. I also gathered up all of the stuff that needed to go upstairs and carried it up.

Since I was feeling energetic and was in a good mood, I decided to go ahead and tackle our taxes so that they'd be ready to go and we could complete the FAFSAs for the kids when the time came. I was a little concerned when the first time through, TaxAct said we owed $1441. However, double checking my entries, I realized I'd forgotten to put in the withholding tax from John's W-2, so we're actually entitled to a refund of $1600. That was a pretty pleasant surprise.

It's almost time to get John from the train station and I'm feeling a blissful feeling of accomplishment today. I didn't accomplish anything huge, but I got a lot of little and really annoying tasks done. When I get back from my chauffeur duties, I'll pull together my expense reports for the last few trips and I can cross another annoying admin type duty off my to do list.

Bliss Among Friends

Going to the spa is always a blissful experience, but I discovered this week that it's even more blissful when shared with a group of friends. One of our managers at work took her team to the spa and she had a couple of extra openings and invited me along. I wasn't sure what to expect as I'd never gone to a spa with a coed group before, but it far exceeded my expectations.

I arrived at the spa to find the party already in progress with a wonderful spread of light appetizers (veggies, fruit, sushi, cheese, and the like) to nosh on between treatments and a selection of juices to keep us hydrated. The team was already in various stages of bliss as some folks were enjoying manis, others had their tootsies deep in the soothing baths of the pedi, and others were cloistered away getting their aching muscles massaged. I was welcomed immediately and escorted to the appetizer buffet. Then I mingled with my friends as they received their treatments. We especially enjoyed teasing the spa virgins (i.e. some of the guys) who were getting their very first manis or pedis.

One of my good friends was getting his very first mani and he was enjoying it more than he'd expected. The funny thing is that one of my other friends and I had invited him to come along the last time we went to the day spa and he turned us down as he thought it was too girly. He was definitely regretting it and promised to at least check his schedule the next time we invited him. As I waited for my treatments, I took time to converse with my coworkers and it was great to get to know them outside of a work setting.

Finally, it was my turn to dip my tootsies in the pedi bath and although I thought it would be awkward getting a pedi in front of some of the guys from work, it wasn't awkward at all and I turned on the massage chair, leaned back, and let the nail technician do her thing. Even though I'd just had a pedi two weeks before, it felt incredibly good to get my feet massaged and pampered.

When my pedi ended, I was whisked away for a massage. I undressed and laid down under the toasty warm blankets and then the masseuse came in and asked if I wanted a full body massage or just wanted him to work on my back. Since I only had 30 minutes, I asked him to focus on my back and pretty soon the rhythmic strokes calmed my body and spirit and I found myself in a blissful twilight zone where my mind was floating as if on a cloud.

My thirty minutes ended all too soon and it was time to go back to my real life. I got dressed, thanked my masseuse and headed out to say goodbye to my friends. All our hearts and bodies felt a little bit lighter as we hugged and vowed that we'd head to the spa again another day to get rejuvenated to fight the battle that is our daily jobs.

Streets of Bliss

You can learn a lot from your kids if you really take the time to listen and get to know them. State of Illinois law requires that Caitlin drive for 50 hours before she qualifies to get her license and it is amazing how much we talk while we're out driving. Caitlin is, self admittedly, directionally challenged and has been known to get lost four blocks from home. However, tonight I learned her trick for figuring out how to get somewhere.

We were driving down Algonquin Road and I told her that she should turn at Quentin Road. She looked at me confused and said she didn't know which street that was. I told her it was the one that we'd gone on the other night when we were out driving and she said, "Oh, that's 'Scary Creepy Street.'" Later, I asked her if she wanted to turn down, Illinois and she said, "Oh that's, Street with the school I used to go to with the really mean teacher."

As we talked, I realized that she'd been using her personal street naming conventions for a while and when she put streets in terms she remembered, her navigational abilities greatly improved. She pointed out that her names were meaningful and personal and that she was "embracing her inner Cherokee." She said that everyone should have their own names for streets and that people who were really close would know each other's names for streets. For instance, one of her friend Jimmy's friends could tell him to "Go down the street where you rolled the stop sign and got a ticket" and they'd understand each other perfectly well.

Here are some of Cat's personal favorites:

• Pretty street that goes through Busse Woods
• Scary creepy street
• Street of old dead math-liking guy
• Street of the fuzzy psycho dog (our street as Luke is the fuzzy psycho dog)
• Boring street I have to walk down for work
• Street with Smiley's with the really good ribs (so I hear)
• Street with the pretty church
• Street of the million fireflies
• Parking lot to get to Meijer
• Bumpy scary street with Pepe's Restaurant
• Barker Lane for the smokers
• Street with the Starbucks where we almost got trapped during a snowstorm (on the way to Alexian Brothers)
• Street to get to the big pet store
• Street where Sean got stuck driving to Treasure Hunt
• Intersection where the bipolar guy killed his family
• Street with Napoli's where Jimmy takes me when he's in a good mood
• Street that I walk on to go deposit my check
• Street that I always end up on when I'm walking alone at night
• Street with the really creepy house at Halloween
• Street with the trailer-trash year-round Christmas light house
• Street with two pet stores
• Other Kennicott that Jake drove me down
• Street that goes by the big haunted hill
• Street that goes through the haunted forest
• The first street to Grandma's house
• Street that I know we're almost to Grandma's
• Street with the good sledding hill

I challenge you to spend some time really listening to your kids to get a better understanding of their world and to take some time to come up with some blissful street names of your own.

Blissful Celebration

The sounds of Kool and the Gang's Celebrate filled the air as Sean and I got off the CTA at Cermak and walked toward the gate marking the entrance to Chinatown. A multi ethnic crowd filled the streets swaying to the music.

"It's time to celebrate."

"Everyone Around the World, Come on."

As we scurried toward the New Year's parade, I couldn't help but thinking that it was oddly appropriate that an American pop song would be playing at a Chinese celebration, but then this was a Chinese New Year's celebration in Chicago and not China. As the words celebrating filled the air, I looked around and saw that the world had truly come out to celebrate as the streets were filled with Americans of all racial backgrounds. I was filled with the same sensation that I'd felt watching the Olympics opening ceremony two days earlier, that the world isn't such a big place when we all make an effort to come together.

The shouts of children filled the air, signifying that the Tiger was making his way down the parade route and the Year of the Tiger was officially here. Following the dancing tiger was a Chinese dragon held aloft by dancers who snaked their way down the street. A feeling of being part of both the history and the future filled me as I watched this most ancient of ceremonies adapt to the new world. Appropriately, the lyrics of Neil Diamond's "America" were being piped through the loudspeakers as the parade made it's way to the reviewing stand and my heart was filled with pride that I lived in a country that was a haven for freedom, freedom of expression, and the free celebration of national origin.

I finally realized what the term melting pot meant as I experienced first hand how America kept the best of traditional celebrations and made them something that all cultures could share. Everyone was welcome at the Chinese New Year's celebration and we were all made to feel that in some weird way it was a part of our cultural heritage.

After watching the parade, Sean and I made our way to Three Happiness for lunch where we a head of lettuce was hanging on a post. A clearly Caucasian boy and his mother were standing near us and the boy was telling his mom that he'd heard about the lettuce was hung in shops to feed the dragon when he came to visit. Sean and I were enjoying dim sum when the sounds of drumming filled the air and the Chinese Dragon and Tiger came in to bless the restaurant.

Despite the tragedies and evil that fill the air waves, the afternoon was a reminder of all that is blissful in the world when cultures come together to celebrate instead of war.